Friday, November 27, 2015

Between Spectrums

How to Approach The Autistic.


Those who read the last post about being friends with the autistic people, you're probably wondering how can I be friends with an autistic person? How do I engage conversation with them? How can we avoid the awkwardness? What are his/her interests? These questions and more have an answer to them. Here are a few steps to help you as you befriend an autistic person.

Step One: Walk the walk/Talk the talk. It may seem intimidating to approach someone to talk to them or being approached by someone. Some can be really sociable and walk up to you to chat. Like other people, they ask the get-to-know-you questions so they can see what interests you have and see if they can relate to them. If either of stopped talking and leads to a awkward silence, it usually means that they're trying to come up with something to ask or talk about and it does take a short amount of time in doing so. So you could either be patience and wait or, to avoid the silence you can ask a question or two. Some are too shy or very introverted to get out of their way to talk to people. So you'll be the one who does the approaching to say hi and if they say hi back, you can start the conversation. If the don't respond don't take it personally. It could be that they don't talk as much, they prefer to talk to people they know, or they just want to be alone. In any case you can have say that you tried or keep trying till you make a new friend.

Step Two: Be genially interested. As they're talking, you as a considerate person should show that you're interested in what they say. Even if it's something that you're not familiar with. True some autistic people can't pick up the social cues that indicate that your bored or not wanting to be here. But there are those who do and they stop talking about they're hobbies or interested and find things that interest you. If you want to be a friend you have to show that you get to know them. And how can you do so if you're not interested in their lives?  

Step Three: Extend the invitation. If you want to continue on getting to know them, you can invite them to parties, hikes, movie nights, games, activities, church, etc. Not only does it help you and them, but it can help your other friends as they get to know the autistic person you're befriending. Some may have similar interest and some may also have a friend/relative who is autistic. When part of a group, autistic people feel accepted. So when your with friends be sure to include them in the conversation.

Step Four: Keep contact. In the 2010's, we may not have flying cars or hover boards but we do have the capabilities to keep in contact with many people in our lives. Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Tumbler, Gmail, Email, iPhones, etc. You can exchange info if the autistic so you can still be a friend when they one most. Friendships can last as long as you're in contact with them.

Step Five: Make it last long. What or how ever you do it. It's important to keep your friendship so that it can last long. Cause you might be the only friend he/she has. Friends are hard to come by for them cause some feel that they're too weird or awkward to have friends. So it's up to you both to make sure that your friendship lasts as long as it takes.

I hope these steps help you out and you can make your steps in befriending the autistic. Good luck and hope it goes well.

Thank you for your time
Tay Gallagher

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Between Spectrums

Unexpected Friends


Have you ever moved to somewhere new and felt that you were alone? That's how Sophia felt till she met Jack (not his real name). She moved to New York from Singapore. Like any other kid who moves to a new town, she doesn't like her new home and school was different to her. She didn't have much friends and felt lonely. Then she noticed a boy who flaps his arms, screams, and often gets pulled out of class by his aids. One day, during lunch, she decides to sit with him. From there he asks her questions, some get to know you questions, and she answers them. They would play together, go shopping, and from the time they share together their friendship becomes strong. When Sophia needed Jack the most he was there as a friend. Because of him, she wants to be a child psychiatrist and has a passion for autism. This story is pretty incredible. One is a girl in a strange new world, the other is a boy in his own world, and together is a friendship that should last for a long time. 

I can relate to Sophia cause I moved to a variety of places. And in each place I made new friends. Some friendships don't last long, but there are some that can stand in the test of time. I have friends from school, mission, work, church, and just in general. How is that possible? There's no secret to making friends. It's simply talking and being friendly to those around you. People with autism can be most faithful of friends. You just need to get pass the stereotypes and allow them to be. Also, speaking from personal experience, don't let your personal pride get in the way of being friends with them or anyone else. It leads to hurt feeling that can or can't be fixed. So I encourage to be friends with people around you, especially the unexpected ones.

Thank you for your time
Tay Gallagher

You can find Sophia and Jack's story as well as other stories by going to theautismsite.greatergood.com


Friday, November 6, 2015

Between Spectrums

Sticks and Stones


Has there ever been times in your life when someone calls you something that sounded rude and you took offense to it? Well, I sometimes do. Now it's one thing to be offended that your opinion is questioned and you want to force everyone to agree with you. It's another to actually feel hurt and offended cause you are called something that you know you are not. Around my early teens I was starting to understand sarcasm. So when my siblings would playfully call me something, like dumb or some other name, I took offense. But they tell they were being sarcastic. Now I can tell when someone is just playing around or is being serious and I can be sarcastic myself. Sarcasm can be harmless when knowing your friends and family know that your just joking and you still love them. But when it comes to others, they can take it seriously, especially those who are autistic.

Autistic people, most of them, can't really till that you joking or saying it in a positive way. So when you call them an aspie they might actually get hurt, offended, and feel sad or mad depending on how they view that term. On Facebook, I asked people to see their opinion on using that word to describe autistic people. Some feel that it's not okay thing to say others think that if your not using it as an insult it's fine. In one of the comments a friend asked my opinion on it. I personally think that it's the person's choice to get offended or not but we individually need to be careful and considerate on what we say. Now I'm not gonna start telling you how you should talk, that's entirely up to you. But what I'm saying is that you should be aware of the words, sayings, and terms you use when you're around someone.  

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me". That saying is ninety five percent correct. But believe it or not, names can hurt. Sometimes harder than sticks and stones. As a writer, I know words can be used to either lift someone up or break him/her down. So I would recommend that when you are talking to someone or calling names, autistic or not, joking or serious. Be sure to think about what you say. Cause names can indeed hurt some people.

Thank you for your time
Tay Gallagher